yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
