I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
