guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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