oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
