my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
