do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
