i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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