just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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