Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
