I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
