Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
