did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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