He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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