Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
