No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
