I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
