Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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