WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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