I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
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sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Im part way to drunk.
Oh god it's open bar.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize