I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
