last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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