These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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