My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
