You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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