I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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