Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
