From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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