i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We named our party play list daddy issues
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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