So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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