i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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