sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
