I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
