He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
