i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
sarcasm needs its own font
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize