sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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