Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
