just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The Olympian is in my bed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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