Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
