ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
