At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize