Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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