youre lurking in front of me
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
