We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
