We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
