I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you didnt know i had herpes?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
