What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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