I got chris browned last night
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
