I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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