oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
sick fucks of a feather flock together
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
