ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
