Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come you make the beer taste better
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize