By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
