i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is my gift to your gina
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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