worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
