i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize