something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
