i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
