my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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