glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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