i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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