i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
