"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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